Again?

Ah, summer.


Aside from the "what-should-I-do-today?" morning uncertainties, there's nothing about summer that I could ever complain about. The sunny days, the beaches, the unlimited sleeping time, the random "laags" with old friends and not to mention the fact that school's out, WHO DOESN'T LOVE SUMMER?

Maybe I. I don't love summer.

Come on, I have been praying for this since the morning I woke up for my first day of school. WHY?

Now that summer's in, I am reminded of the old routine I used to go through everyday. The routine that has your name written all over in it. Yes, that same old routine that made me smile for a while, but mostly broke my heart. I don't intend to sound melodramatic but hey, you can't blame a girl for having feelings, can you? Those good morning texts, random days in the mall, late-night debates over which Glee Cheerio is hotter, mixed signals, pet names... Ever since I've known this guy, I unconsciously equate summer with the feelings he gave me. Maybe that's why I can't look at the glass half full. Maybe that's the reason why I'll never look at summer the same again.

"Restrain yourself, Bey," I constantly remind myself. No, I don't want to go through the same routine again. I don't want to deal with the stress of translating those mixed signals again. I don't want to receive any texts or calls from him again. But most importantly, I don't want to have the best feeling I've ever had again.

Poof!
He invited me to his party.

Again? Not again --- well, maybe.

Can You?

After the twin disaster in Japan, I've been really disturbed --- to the point that sleeping has been harder for me. Aside from the fact that my Daddy's working there, I just feel like everything's crumbling; like the world's ending soon. Or maybe 2012 isn't really a hoax. I've been seeing photos and videos about the disaster and I just feel the need to do something yet I don't know where or how to begin. So I sat down and started writing my thoughts. I apologize for the crappy words but I just wrote my heart out and this is all I my preoccupied mind could come up with. I didn't even think of a title for this, uhh, "poem". So yeah.


I can't just sit here,

Staring blankly at the screen

When lives nowhere far

Instantly disappear



I can't just sit here,

Pretending I feel no urge

When homes nowhere far

Are swept by a sudden surge



I can't just sit here,

Going on like nothing's wrong

When people nowhere far

Have been trapped for too long



I can't just sit here,

Complaining unreasonably

When mothers nowhere far

Lose their child suddenly



I can't just sit here,

Being consciously unaware

When a nation nowhere far

Is left with nothing but despair



I can't just sit here.

Can you?