Solve Me.

Solve Me.
I'm a million different faces.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Misa de Gallo

18 December 2011

Just as I stepped on the dreamland, my Mom had woken me up extra-early because she wanted me to join her for Misa de Gallo. Considering the fact that I got home at 1AM and slept at 2AM, 3AM is definitely not a very wonderful time for me to put on a happy face and go to church. And did I mention that my throat is being such a holiday spoiler now? Christmas is not a very good time for a sore throat. I know you'd say "Hear, hear!" to that.

But despite all the reasons I try to use to convince myself to stay in love with my bed, I still got up, brushed my teeth, pulled out anything "church-able" to wear, tied up a bun and left the house with nothing but my favorite lipstick on.

No matter how the Misa de Gallo's time run contrary to my waking-up routine, I still love it. Even if Sacred Heart is the last church you'd wanna go early in the morning, I still love it. Although sometimes, the priest's voice make it very easy for me to catch some Z's in the middle of his homily, I still love it.

I don't know why, but Misa de Gallo just has this thing that gets me. HAHAHAHAHA. :)

It's 1:55 AM. I barely have an hour to sleep. But still, I am going to church :)

Oh, look! Puto cheese and bibingka! One of the reasons why I love Misa de Gallo! :)

G'night! :)
B ♥

Friday, December 16, 2011

First of Christmas

16 Dec 11
T-Batch Christmas Party
Corona del Mar
Pooc, Talisay City Cebu

T-Batch | Second Year Communication Students of STC

Aside from the start of the 2011 Misa de Gallo, December 16 also marks a day of fun, laughter and most importantly, FOOD! Hahahaha! My batch mates and I celebrated our first Christmas Party together wet and wild! We didn't care about the storm shenanigans and the distance of the venue! All we ever wanted was to celebrate the last hoorah of 2011 together! :)

So, how did it go?
- THE TRANSPORTATION!We rode a construction truck from STC to Talisay, which is by the way, rather far. It was one fun ride! :)
- THE ELEVATOR! The truck had this amazing elevator thing. No words can ever describe its awesomeness.
- THE PLACE WAS BEYOND COMPARE! It was peaceful and exclusive! For a person who hates swimming in pools filled with people you don't know like me, the place would probably be perfect.
- THE FOOD. The barbeque was so delicious! Hahahahahaha! :)
_ THE GIFT! I loved my gifts! Special thanks to Fresha Anne who got a wallet and a make-up brush set. ♥
- THE STORM! Okay, so there was a little storm. So what? It added more action to our party! (Well, minus the 'Mom calling...' screen always appearing on my phone part)
- THE PEOPLE♥ My batch mates are the best. 'nuff said!

Anyway, I had so much fun today! I'm already looking forward to next year's party! :)

Adios, mi amigas!
♥ G'night!


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

In Her Shoes

I am not a photographer. I don't like photography. I think it's boring and bleak. Photography is a waste of time.

Yes, that's what photography was for me two months ago --- before it happened.

Photography, for me, is different now. Good different. :)

So, this is a teaser of the photo set I had for our Photography Course last semester. The next three paragraphs are the ones used as the description of my set. I'd like to keep the rest of the details under my hat first. :)


She dreamt. She was passionate and determined. She swore she would summon anything and everything just to reach that dream. She did everything --- but the universe conspired against her. She fell. She cried. But that’s over. Now, she’s fighting.

In Her Shoes is a story about a ballet dancer who dreamt of nothing but dancing her heart out. Circumstances might have caused her to consider bidding that dream goodbye but she fought --- and she is still fighting. Now, she is getting back on her feet, certain that no one will ever stop her from pursuing her dream of becoming a world-renowned ballerina.

The photos in this story show what it is like to be “In Her Shoes”. The photos show how a tormented soul gets back up to finally chase what she knows has always been her reason for existence. Determined and passionate, she is now ready to conquer the world.

In Her Shoes
Bea Evardone | Photography

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Shut Up, Brain!

14 Dec 11
Time start: 1:19 AM.

Do you ever get that feeling when you try so hard to sleep at an acceptable time like say, 9:00 or 10:00 PM but then you can't because your brain has its own gob that just can't stop yapping?

Welcome to the club! I get that a lot!

Now that everyone's getting their fair share of forty winks, here I am, getting my enormous share of additional eye bags. Ugly eye bags. And I owe the honor to my brain who won't quit thinking and talking to me.

So what's my brain telling me?

- You should sleep now.
- You have a financial report tomorrow.
- You better pray the student council won't question your report.
- You have to wake up early tomorrow.
- Do you know what you'll wear tomorrow?
- You still haven't bought a gift for your manita.
- You should go on a diet.
- Someone's probably watching you right now.
- You should get a haircut.
- Don't get a haircut.
- It's almost Christmas --- and you don't feel the spirit.
- You're broke.
- Take off your earrings.
- Read a book.
- Nevermind, you're too lazy to get up.
- You have a speech contest on January. And you're not yet ready.
- You're gonna spend the break memorizing your speech.
- You wanna blog.
- You wanna sleep.
- You should sleep.
- Count sheep.
- You're starting to miss... Naaah, nevermind!
- You need to pray now.
- Go to sleep.
- Set your alarm.
- Sleep now!!!!
- Wait, where is your peace ring?!
- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
- You have a test on Thursday.

Okay, my brain needs a 'shut down' button.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I seriously have no idea if my brain is helping me "Conceive positivity to achieve positivity," (which is by the way, my maxim in life) or the contrary.

I should give sleeping another shot now.
Goodnight! :)♥

Time finished: 1:41 AM
(That was fast)

Hair Ye, Hair Ye!

"Should I cut my hair?"
"Should I curl my hair?"

Trust me, hair is one of the most important things to us, girls! Even the slightest flaw our hair can have, we notice. Maybe it's because our hair is our so-called "crowning glory." Whatever our hairstyle is, that's how our face and our personality will automatically be to others. Plus, aside from the eyes, hair can also be the mirror of a girl's soul! At least I think it is, that is! It reflects a girl's mood and personality!

Do you now get why hair is so important? :p

So I have two dilemmas right now and yes, they both concern my hair! (oh, how self-absorbed can I get, but whatever)

Should I cut my hair or just let it be the long hair everyone wants it to be for almost three frickin years?

Long hair!

Short hair!

Next up, I'm really perplexed! Should I maintain my straight hair or curl it permanently? I know most girls would want a curly hair but gosh, I've been told that curly hair is the hardest style to maintain! BUT! I'm bored with my straight hair! YOU decide! :))

Straight hair!

Curly hair!

Which hairstyle do you think suits me best? Let me know! :))

Thaaaaaaaaaanks! :* ♥

Merry Christmas, Darling :)

This will always be my favorite Christmas song! ♥ And nope, I don't care if it's a sad song! :p

Merry Christmas, darlings! :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Whose Blog Is This, Anyway?

I am Bea.

I am nowhere near perfect. I make mistakes as if they were scheduled on my planner.

My dreams are unimaginable. From winning a national speech contest down to my childhood frustration of being a world-renowned ballerina, (which I know is next to impossible) I'm ready to enter the battlefield armored with nothing but confidence and faith in Him.

I know the value of respect and I hope you do too. If you don't, I totally respect that.

My unpredictability is severe and I don't need doctors to cure it.

I find happiness in a small ball of hazelnut chocolate. You call it Ferrero Rocher, I call it heaven.

Math is exclusively 1+1 for me. Include those x's, √'s, ∑'s and %'s, I'd rather write an essay longer than the actual value of pi.

Music and I -- we're inseparable. Finding yourself perplexed after borrowing my iPod would be normal. Yes, I listen to Air Supply, Fra Lippo Lippi and all that shizz.

Mediocrity is never an option. If I can't make it excellently, I'd rather not make it.

Competition is my motivation.

I can be a total as-if-you-were-talking-to-an-adult kind of girl but don't be surprised if you see me running around like a complete imbecile with a water bottle, chasing the most irritating people. :)

I do my best in everything that I do not because I want to impress other people-- that can wait. Right now, I'm still in the process of impressing the most impossible critic -- myself.

I'm a debater and an orator. I take interest in making and delivering speeches.

I admit. Like Travie McCoy, I also wanna be a billionaire so frickin' bad!

I'm not the romantic type but until now, I still can't understand why I'm so in love with Nicholas Sparks' books.

A stormy night, a good book and warm milk in my bedroom is my own definition of a perfect night.

I like to dress up but I love to accessorize. I can spice up an ordinary shorts-and-top getup with a pair of unique earrings, oversized rings, necklaces and my all-time favorite, bangles. :)

I've been single for nineteen years now and I'm not planning to change that until I'm twenty-five.

I love my family, my friends and my God.

That's about it.
And oh, I like crowns and pink. ♥
(See that tat over there? HAH!)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Friendzone

Okay, disregard the first two photos and focus on the last two.

Bad boys go to hell, good boys go to the friendzone.


First, allow me to elaborate on what a "Friendzone" is. The Friendzone, according to some of my 'oh-so-experienced-love-guru-friends," is where good and potential boyfriends go. Period.

Second, POTENTIAL BOYFRIENDS. I don't get why Tumblr and 9Gag and the rest of the universe take the "Friendzone" as something to be abominated. It's not. The Friendzone can mean a lot of things to girls.

- It means we want to get to know you better.
I mean, come on! We can't just call you our boyfriends right away without becoming your friend first.

- We want to see if you are really sincere
It takes a lot of time for a girl to trust a guy. It can't happen in the blink of an eye. When you're in the friendzone, it means we're allowing you to prove to us that you really love us.

- You haven't got the balls to actually tell us how you feel
We are not some psycho-fortune-telling-witches who can predict how you feel. And even if we get a hint that you like us, we will always, ALWAYS deny it until you say it. So say it. Just say it.

- We respect you.
You are not some kind of food sample in the grocery mall. When we don't like your taste, we spit you out. It doesn't work that way. We respect you that much that's why you're in the friendzone. So stop whining.

- We want time
In this world of the fast and the immediate, there are still things that work best if taken slowly. What's the rush, anyway? If you really like us, then you're willing to wait -- there in the friendzone.

- You're still a friend no matter what
If we don't feel it, then we don't feel it. Respect it. We respect you as a friend, so respect us as your friend, too.

So guys and the rest of the world who think that the Friendzone is a bad place, stop complaining. You are there for a reason and you won't stay there forever.


And the Brat Calls in Sick

12 Dec 11

Woke up with a fever and my period! What a way to start the week, eh? NOT.

Let me tell you how a period goes for me.
- I puke
- I get LBM
- I get muscle cramps
- I get really moody
- I hate everyone
- I want to eat really random food (Now, I want strawberries, spaghetti and yogurt)
- I want to die

I just can't count the number of times I've mumbled, "Why am I a girl?" and "KILL ME NOW," today! Plus, I have two preliminary exams today. And Math class. Don't get me wrong, I'm not your Mathe whiz because I, too abhor Math but missing one class will totally ruin my grades. :| /wristwhyamistillalive

(I know after my period, I'll be laughing my ass out while reading this post but what the hell, who cares?)

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Lights, Camera, Action!


So for our DevCom class, we had to come up with a developmental ad about human trafficking for our preliminary exams. (Yes, that's how cool MASSCOM is!)

The girls (Malaya, Jayneil, Donna, Maureen) and I got so excited! Yeheeeeey! Another "feeing-actress-director-scriptwriter" moment for us! :))

Our devcom ad was about sex trafficking. The concept was practical and simple yet the impact it had was really moving. It focused on four girls in a convenience store on sale and a man buys one. I had to play the role of a prostitute! I had to wear really heavy make-up and very slutty clothes!

Here are some photos:

Don't I just look like a hooker? Hahahaha!

Say hello to Donna! :p

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We had so much fun that day! :)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Them Jerks

It's official. I can't trust guys anymore.
I can't, I won't, I don't.

Sorry for stereotyping but reality bites. Its bites dig deep and can cause a scar that may take forever to heal.

I don't like scars. Aside from the arduous memories they bring, they're ugly and unattractive. Nothing an 'I-believe-in-fairytales' girl like me can ever handle.

What's with my yaps?

This guy.

I barely even know him. I'm pretty sure I've heard his name tons of times but I don't know a single thing about him. People asked me if I knew him. All I ever did was raise my left eyebrow and shook my head. Friends started teasing me with him, a thing I found very odd because again, I don't know him. A common started sugar-coating this guy for me, telling me he's smart and kind and...

he liked me.

How can someone whom I don't even remember existing and who doesn't even know me like me?

He started chatting with me. We had really good conversations that would take for an hour or two. He made me listen to songs I was dying to hear and I did the same. I admired his great taste in music and his unusual love for senseless for YouTube videos --- something I also loved but thought could never share with anyone else. We started texting and yes, until dawn. He was not too sweet but not too bland, just how I like it. We had crazy things we planned to do together. Eating the world's best siomai, DOTA 101 tutorials. This 'thing' went on and on and yes, I thought I found the guy I never thought I was looking for.

Or so I thought.

Just when I realized that I was starting to really like this guy, he just stopped. He disappeared. Literally disappeared. No warnings, no goodbyes whatsoever. He just evaporated, leaving me dumbfounded.

Did I say something?
Did I fail to say something?

Lesson learned: NEVER TRUST GUYS. EVER.
(It's a lesson I learned. You don't have to hate guys, whoever is reading this)

Thank you for the false hopes, jerk. Making me learn this lesson the hard way slapped me enough. Thanks!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I'm Scared, Who's Not?

People who claim they know me would say I’m confident, bubbly, witty and just about every word with a similar meaning. I take it as a compliment, really. I must be THAT good in acting that they never noticed how scared I can actually get.. How a pussy I actually am. There, I said it. I’M SCARED. I’m scared of how big my dreams are. I’m scared of where my incapacitates could take me. I’m scared of being too happy. I’m scared of being too sad. I’m scared of people who expect too much. I’m scared of people who don’t expect anything. I’m scared of telling the truth. I’m scared of lying. I’m scared of whoever’s reading this. I’m scared of people who care too much. I’m scared of people who don’t care at all. I’m scared of being myself. I’m scared of being to be someone else. I’m scared of failing people. I’m scared of pleasing people. I’m scared of rejection. I’m scared of how long this list could get. I’m scared of my family. I’m scared of my friends. I’m scared losing. I’m scared of gaining. I’m scared of falling in. I’m scared of falling out. I’m scared of getting busted. I’m scared of hiding. I’m scared of how I always think too much. I’m scared of myself.

It took a great deal of courage for me to actually say that.

Now, I’m scared.

This is a Mistake

Today, I realized that the biggest mistake I’ve been making in my life is being too afraid to make one. That explains why pressure has always been my best friend. Too often, I set limits so high for myself that I forget about being human. I forget about having feelings. I forget why I even try. My fear of making mistakes has reached a state so crucial that I punish myself whenever I commit a slight, unnoticable flaw. I always perspire my ass out over something while making sure everything’s perfect. One petty defect and boom! I feel like I failed everyone —- especially myself.

I feel like I can’t continue doing this but I’m too scared that stopping this might also be another mistake.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Letter to My Future Botfriend

Sunday, 17 April 2011
09:45 AM

"May the soul of Aj Perez rest in peace"

-- A text message I received from a friend

And I was like, WHAAAAAAT? So I got my phone, checked my Tumblr dashboard and voila! Aj Perez's death was trending. He died in some car accident at the age of 18. :( Even if I was never a fan of Aj, I was somehow disturbed by his death. I mean, he was so young to die. I continued to view posts about Aj and that's when I came across something that really caught my attention. It was a letter written by Aj Perez himself. No, it wasn't just an ordinary letter, it was a letter to his future girlfriend.

Here's the link if you want to read the letter. It's very sweet. :)

Anyway, after reading his letter, I felt very inspired to write to my future boyfriend! I mean, I don't know where on earth he is now, what he's been up to or how he looks like, if he's the Chuck-Bass-villain type or the typical-goody-goody-Enchong-Dee type but I just want to, you know, write to him! And someday, when I finally get to meet him, I'll have something to show him! ☺

So here it goes...

Dear Future Boyfriend,

First thing's first; CONGRATULATIONS! Finally, someone is able to digest my unpredictability and heartlessness! I mean, I've been told a million times that I'm very hard to impress! Well, you're amazing like that and congratulations to me too 'cause I've finally found you! :))


I have no idea if we've met already or you're miles away from me right now but one thing's for sure; I've been praying for you. :) Some say that I'm way too picky and that's why I never got the chance to meet you earlier. I never got the chance to be your high school sweetheart, summer love or prom date. I'm not picky. I just don't think I'm ready for you yet. It might be taking a long time for me to be ready but I think that that's just my way of thanking God for having someone as awesome as you are in store for me. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for handsome guys. Oh believe me, all girls are. But you know, you don't have to be as drop-dead gorgeous as Zac Efron to make me smile. As long as you look clean, I'm cool with it. Also, I'd like to tell you that unpredictability and spontaneity are the third and fourth names my parents forgot to give me. I can be really hard to handle sometimes and I do hope you'd understand me. One thing that really matters to me is your ability to listen to my pointless rants and since I've been praying, I bet you're all ears when I start with my ramblings. Another thing that's very important to me is honesty. To be perfectly honest, I've never been 100% truthful to anyone. Maybe I'm just a little too scared or I might just have reasons even I can't comprehend. No one knows my story yet. What everyone knows is just the gist of it. I'm really excited because I know that you will be first person I'd share my story with. From the beginning until the climax, I'll tell you detail by detail. I wouldn't have to worry about the ending because I know you'll be writing it with me. :) If you must also know, I value my family, friends, career and GOD very much and I do hope you will too 'cause for sure, I will absolutely value whatever you consider vital. Another thing you must know is that I love debates. May it be about politics or who made the 'Worst Dressed' list in the Grammy Awards, I'd like a hint of argument. It's not because I want a fight or something, it's simply because I want to see things at different angle. It's my way of humbling myself and getting a piece of your mind. After all, I can't have my boyfriend agreeing with whatever I say, right? If that happens, our relationship will be a bore! :) Finally, the most important thing you have to know is the key to make me really happy. What is it? It's YOU. Just be you. Don't try to be someone else just to make me happy. I appreciate the effort but you don't really have to try to impress me. It's weird but guys who don't try to impress me, well, impress me. Just be you and I'm happy! As I'm writing this, I can not imagine anyone I know to be reading this in the future. All I know is, again, I've been praying for you and I hope that right now, you are too! :)

Love Your Future Girlfriend,
Bea :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Worth Every Risk

Typical story:

Boy meets girl in pre-school. Fate pushes them to be the best of friends. Time passes by and at the age of say, 16, both hearts are taken. Despite that reality, both still manages to catch up on each other's lives. When boy suffers a heartache, girl's there to be his "crying shoulder". When girl realizes her boyfriend's a jerk, boy attacks the bastard. And at one point, one realizes something..

Cliche, huh?

Yep, same cycle happens.

This might have happened to you already. For some, it is happening to them. But for me, it just might happen.

Let's look at the situation in two different angles.

Let's say I'm the boy and I fall for my best friend. I've seen her cry when she lost her doll in school. I've heard stories about her celebrity crushes and how she "mentally dates" them. I've seen her in her pajamas with no eyeliner and cheek tint. I've known her for as long as I remember and I don't think any boy has ever seen her, heard her and I guess, loved her the way I did and still do.

I hate to see her cry, though. It just gives the urge the give the bastard a headlock. I mean, those eyes! Tears don't deserve to stain those dainty eyes. They're perfect and the only thing I want to see with those tears is her smile when she's overjoyed. Plus, she doesn't deserve to cry. She doesn't deserve a heartache. She doesn't deserve to be mistreated. When I see her constantly checking her phone, waiting for that jerk's message, I just want to hug her tight and tell her that she deserves so much better --- someone better.

Someone like me.

This can happen to the girl too. I'm the girl now and I wake up to see a message from my best friend.

"Hey, can I see you today? I have a problem with *insert girlfriend's name here*"

Seeing the message, I cancel all my plans today, hit the showers, leave the house with barely no make-up on and rush to wherever my best friend is. I was with him when he scraped his knee, trying to teach me how to bike. I was with him when he had to put on a humongous shirt after being circumcised and boy was that hilarious! I was with him when he tried out for the soccer team. I didn't miss a game, not even once. I was with him for, well, ever and I know no girl will ever see him the way I do.

I can't stand the feeling of seeing him messed up over some bitch who doesn't even see his worth, though. He's awesome and I know he's got so much love in him. He's got so much to offer and I even consider the girls he's liked not just lucky, but blessed. I hate it when he turns into his girlfriend's driver who picks her up and drops her off anywhere, anytime. I hate it when he doesn't eat a decent meal just because he's saving for this branded bag his girlfriend demands from him. I hate it when he misses out on our movie nights just because he needs to what? Take his girlfriend's dog for a walk? He deserves so much better --- someone better.

Someone like me.

Falling in love with your best friend can be the most beautiful and most difficult thing that could ever happen to someone. Can you imagine being romantic with someone you used to wrestle before? Can you imagine going on a date with someone who used to listen to all your yaps about your new crush? Can you imagine walking down the aisle with someone who used to plan his dream wedding with you but his mind is locked on to some other bride or groom?

That's right, imagine it.

Falling in love with your best friend: It's worth every risk. Take it. :)

B :)

The Hunger Games ♥

Katniss: So, since we were five, you never even noticed any other girl?
Peeta: No, I noticed just about every girl but none of them made a lasting impression but you.

I died.

One of my summer must-do's is to make up for my reading. The last ten months of college consumed me --- and I mean all of me. My time, my energy, my brain cells, my social life, and yes, my constant need to read. So I made a list of the things I must do this summer and yes, TO READ topped the list! :)

Since I'm a sucker for Nicholas Sparks' books, I was rather expecting one of his creations to be the first book I'll read this summer. Probably The Lucky One or Message in the Bottle.

But to my surprise, I found myself reading a completely different book. It's The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

It's not like the ones I usually read because adventure books don't seem to thrill me. (You can call me boring now, whatever. >:P) Maybe it's because I always seem to find myself lovestruck at books with a romantic plot in a boy's point of view. So, I must say, that reading The Hunger Games is a first and whoa, did I looooove the book!

Okay, I'm not going to blabber about the whole story or how it ended because I want to thrill you. Yes, thrill you. But still, allow me to let you see a glimpse of how the story goes.

It's not your typical story. Everything's very unpredictable. Soon enough, I'm sure you will have a hard time putting the book down. (I even resorted to bringing the book to the mall! It's that addictive. ) It's a story about a reality show in Panem in the year 2720. (Correct me if I'm wrong) The whole show focuses on one rule; kill or be killed. All the "players" are sent on an arena, depending on the producers of the show. It may be in a desert, forest, island, you'll never know. Each district in the country is to send one boy and one girl tribute to represent them in the reality show. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark represented District 12. To survive the "Hunger Games", you must be likable enough to attract sponsors. They will be the ones to supply your basic needs in the arena. The Star-crossed Lovers from District 12: This was Katniss and Peeta's strategy to attract sponsors. They had to pretend that they were madly in love with each other. So the games started and guess what? Their strategy worked! Not just for the sponsors but to them. Yes, they fell in love. And what happened? Only the two of them were left in the games. KILL OR BE KILLED. Again, that's the theme.

Oooh, I bet you're wondering how the story ended! Read the book! It's to die for!♥

And oh, PEETA MELLARK'S JUST TOO DREAMY. He's not your cliche fantasy character like Edward Cullen or something. Peeta Mellark is real. He doesn't sparkle, he doesn't suck blood and he's 100% human. (I have nothing against Edward Cullen, by the way. I just can't help but compare them :D Forgive me, Edward Cullen fans :D ) Peeta Mellark's one of the reasons why The Hunger Games is definitely a must-read!

And oh, another oh! In March 2012, The Hunger Games Movie will be appearing on the big screen! I can't wait! I swear I'll watch it on its premiere date! I can't let the world end without me watching it! I do hope they get the right characters for the film! Fingers crossed! But I have a bet, though! Kaya Scodelario as Katniss and Alex Pettyfer as Peeta! PERFECT! See?

Read the book! You'll love it, I swear! ;)

Bea :*

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Ah, summer.

Aside from the "what-should-I-do-today?" morning uncertainties, there's nothing about summer that I could ever complain about. The sunny days, the beaches, the unlimited sleeping time, the random "laags" with old friends and not to mention the fact that school's out, WHO DOESN'T LOVE SUMMER?

Maybe I. I don't love summer.

Come on, I have been praying for this since the morning I woke up for my first day of school. WHY?

Now that summer's in, I am reminded of the old routine I used to go through everyday. The routine that has your name written all over in it. Yes, that same old routine that made me smile for a while, but mostly broke my heart. I don't intend to sound melodramatic but hey, you can't blame a girl for having feelings, can you? Those good morning texts, random days in the mall, late-night debates over which Glee Cheerio is hotter, mixed signals, pet names... Ever since I've known this guy, I unconsciously equate summer with the feelings he gave me. Maybe that's why I can't look at the glass half full. Maybe that's the reason why I'll never look at summer the same again.

"Restrain yourself, Bey," I constantly remind myself. No, I don't want to go through the same routine again. I don't want to deal with the stress of translating those mixed signals again. I don't want to receive any texts or calls from him again. But most importantly, I don't want to have the best feeling I've ever had again.

He invited me to his party.

Again? Not again --- well, maybe.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Can You?

After the twin disaster in Japan, I've been really disturbed --- to the point that sleeping has been harder for me. Aside from the fact that my Daddy's working there, I just feel like everything's crumbling; like the world's ending soon. Or maybe 2012 isn't really a hoax. I've been seeing photos and videos about the disaster and I just feel the need to do something yet I don't know where or how to begin. So I sat down and started writing my thoughts. I apologize for the crappy words but I just wrote my heart out and this is all I my preoccupied mind could come up with. I didn't even think of a title for this, uhh, "poem". So yeah.

I can't just sit here,

Staring blankly at the screen

When lives nowhere far

Instantly disappear

I can't just sit here,

Pretending I feel no urge

When homes nowhere far

Are swept by a sudden surge

I can't just sit here,

Going on like nothing's wrong

When people nowhere far

Have been trapped for too long

I can't just sit here,

Complaining unreasonably

When mothers nowhere far

Lose their child suddenly

I can't just sit here,

Being consciously unaware

When a nation nowhere far

Is left with nothing but despair

I can't just sit here.

Can you?